I know that Mother's Day can often feel challenging when you've been struggling to conceive or have experienced pregnancy loss. This somewhat arbitrary Hallmark Holiday can really difficult for so many couples.
If this weekend is already feeling hard, I'm sorry. I really am. I see you. Let's figure out what we can do to make this day better.
Just in case you don't want to scroll through this whole email, at least take this Guided Fertility Meditation for Womb Clearing and Receptivity.
I created two lists to share with you today: one for making Mother's Day feel a bit less hard and one for home-care fertility improving tips. There is some overlap, but on this day, overlap of self-care feels anything but redundant.
Tips for Getting Through Mother's Day...
1. Stay off of the Socials.
This is #1 for a reason - It's a form of torture to scroll through those pics. Don't do it. Thank me on Tuesday.
2. Eat whatever you want.
For real. I know we're all about fertility diet, etc., but I think this day just needs to be about feeling good. This doesn't mean to stuff your face to the point that you feel gross and bad about yourself, but choose something really good that's exactly what you're craving. This, of course, involves feeling into your body to know what it wants, which is part of the medicine. Choose something that feels comforting for both your body and soul.
3. Do something you wouldn't be able to do with kids in the house.
Have crazy hot sex on your kitchen table. Smoke a joint (It's legal here in Colorado so I'm allowed to make this suggestion -- you may not be legally allowed to take it). Sleep in. Stay up late. Watch movies all day. Put on your fancy clothes and have a nice dinner. Or even better, walk around your house totally naked. And then go back to sex on the table.
4. Acknowledge your sadness, your pain, your worry, your fear.
Feel it fully, deeply, and then see if you can let it go. If you can't let it go, that's okay too. Take good care of yourself. Mother yourself hard. Show up for yourself fully today. Comfort yourself. Love on yourself. Nurture yourself. I know it may sound a little "woo woo" but you do get to be a mama today, to your own inner little one. I'm not trying to minimize your desire to be a mother to another "actual" child, but you do get to take this day to Mother yourself hard, and I hope you'll use it.
Now for some fertility tips, cause I know you all get mad at me when I send out an email without actual fertility tips. These are all things you should be able to do at home now, without having to go out and purchase anything.
Fertility-Enhancing Home Care...
1. My number one tip, always, is womb massage.
Here is my free tutorial. You can use whatever oils you have at home... olive oil, coconut oil. If you have some pure essential oils, you can put a few drops in the carrier oil. I just ask that you don't use artificially fragranced oils or bath oils as they may contain too many chemicals.
2. I created this Guided Fertility Meditation for Womb clearing and receptivity.
I would love for you to take 30 minutes to have a listen.
3. Take a bath.
This one could go in either category, really. But a bath with Epsom Salt can be really detoxifying and that's always good for fertility. If you have a soothing essential oil like Lavender, a few drops in the bath is great too. My fave for this time is my Fertile Mama Soak.
4. Sit by a fire.
I find that the fire element is often depleted in women who are trying to conceive, and sitting by a fire can activate this energy. Visualize a line of energy from your heart down to your womb, and imagine that you've lit a nice fire inside your womb, towards your low back, kidney area. Visualize the warmth from that fire filling your whole womb and reaching up towards your heart. If you don't have a fireplace, candles will do.
Play your favorite playlist. Rock out. It's important to get your blood pumping regularly.
6. Journal about what Motherhood means to you, what the Mother Archetype means to you.
Reflect on your relationship with and feelings about your own mother. Do any negative feelings arise? You may want to also begin to explore your connection with Mother Earth.
I'd like to begin this conversation here. It's a tricky conversation to have, because I completely "get" that the ultimate goal for most of you is to have a baby.
in my fertility practice, while I'm working on that goal with my patients, we begin the conversation of what else is wanting to be born into each woman's life. We look at her longings and desires, what might want to be birthed other than or in addition to a baby.
I've had women create magical pieces of art while trying to get pregnant, beautiful music. One of my patients wrote a novel while working together. Another quit her job in finance and opened up a bake shop that now supplies Whole Foods.
I believe that we all have an incredibly strong desire to create, and this desire often doesn't fade with a baby. This is why women often have more than one. I am not saying to give up your hope of having a baby. I'm saying that we can use this time as an opportunity to begin to think about what else might be wanting to move through us.
Energy is energy. Often when we clear paths to create, there's more room for life to be created. This can feel challenging for women, because often our magic and our brilliance and creative spark has been stifled. We might worry it wouldn't fit into our life, into our marriage, into our friendships, into our career. It might feel weird and risky.
Let's just start to breathe into that. You may have no idea what I'm talking about. That's okay.
I'll give you a hint though: it often starts with what brings you the most unabashed joy in your life. It may be something you haven't done since you were a kid.
You may have heard me say this before, but I truly believe that it is the birthright of every single woman on this planet to feel fertile...to feel like a Creatrix in her life and of her life.
I won't lie .. this may not mean that each of you gets to be a mother this time around. But each of you gets to feel FERTILE... each of you gets to create. So, on this Mother's Day, if there's anything I want to share with you, it's my desire that each of you gets to feel passionately alive today. Feel all of yourself.
I PROMISE YOU... every single woman I have worked with has some crazy MAGIC inside of her. And whether or not that magic gets manifested outwardly as a baby, it's MAGICAL.
YOU are magical. And I hope you get to feel a bit of that magic today.
This was a long one... know that I'm loving on each of you today. Thank you, as always, for trusting me to be a part of your journey.